UK 2017

Wow I haven't written for a few years and I see that the blog has had over 1000 views. That is interesting news. I am getting back into it. I will be writing a full update soon. For now I will just say that I have become a British citizen this year (although it is not the ultimate citizenship that I have craved since pretty much the age I was aware of such matters as citizenships). I am a home owner. I am almost 40 and I am about to change my life in a radical way. Stay tuned please.

Maggie's Gone

Ok,having been raised outside of Britain I grew up idolizing Margaret Thatcher. She was a fighter for freedom, individualism, hard working ethic and free enterprise. I moved to Britain almost 7 years ago and since then I encountered many varying opinions, some critical, and stories about MT. But it wasn't until I moved to the north of England that I learned of the impact her policies had on certain communities. So I am in two minds. On the one hand I admire her for reducing the inflation from 25% to 3.5%, shutting down inefficient state monolith industries and encouraging individual entrepreneurship, fighting for the freedom from communism in Eastern Europe and facing up to the Argentinian Navy to keep the Falklands British; on the other hand, she seemed not to care about what really happened to the communities which were supported by the industries she had closed down. This put thousands of miners and steel workers out of work. Then there was making Scotland the testing ground for te Poll Tax, and her lack of support for equal rights of the LGTB community. I still don't think dancing and drinking champagne on the streets is right though. Too many of those people are simply young anarchists who hate the so called "establishment" and see conspiracy theories everywhere. They hate the rule of law where one has to take responsibility for own actions, they expect the state to be a nanny, they hate any authority and they have no respect for anyone who by their hard work made a little bit of money. They call themselves "socialists" but they are closer to fascists. Full of hate, negativity and criticism, instead of ideas of how to make things better. The struggle for equality in society has been hijacked by the law-hating anarchist. The reports from street parties feature people who look to be born in the late 80s and the 90s, people whose lives were never directly affected by her policies, people who only seek to feed their own ego, their own need to be seen as compassionate and caring, attempting to appease their conscience. Sad.

Breakthrough

I have been applying for jobs for many months now, and finally something of substance came through. About 3 weeks ago I carelessly applied for an entry position as a equity settlement analyst with a major global bank. It was not a grad scheme, just an entry level job. I said carelessly, because I had only downloaded my CV and my university transcripts, forgetting to submit a cover letter. Amazingly enough, I got a call 3 days later inviting me to the interview. I had been very nervous and prepared thoroughly for it. I picked up my course books which had started to collect dust and reviewed all there was about global equity markets, what derivatives are and what the major kinds of them are. I had prepared answers for all potential competency based questions against the expected behavioral framework of the company, as well as brushed up on my technical knowledge. I also found a website explaining the processes of clearing and settlement, so that I had an idea of what the job entails before the interview.

I was sat before two men and ten minutes into the interview I suddenly felt I was not nervous anymore and in control of the situation. It flowed smoothly from then on. I never once had to refer to my notes. My answers were to the point, brief but rich, delivered at the right pace in a fairly fluent manner. I did not kill the point by talking endlessly about the same accomplishment as I know I may have done in past interviews, not did I go "eh, eh... let me think".

At the end I was asked some practical questions such as booked holidays, and a very surprising one "What is your salary expectation". Well, that was one question I did not prepare for and I staggered. I asked what the band was and there was no band, however I was told not just to pluck a figure out of thin air. I was aware it was an entry position, but I was also aware it was in the global markets department, aka, in investment banking, and everyone knows these guys rake in a lot. I went for "low 20s" and that's what they wrote down.

The interview was on Friday and on Monday I got a call at work. I dared to answer it where my manager could not see me and it was someone from the bank calling to say I did very well on my interview, that the two men were impressed and that they're offering me the position! I was so insanely bugged out freaking ecstatic that I thought I was going to levitate or combust into some unknown matter, I wanted to jump and scream and cry the tears of joy! I sat at the counter, leaned back and let out deep breaths of satisfaction.

So today I dropped off my signed contract and I hope to start in about a month's time. Things are FINALLY working out for me, after so many years of shitty, low-paying jobs where I was treated like a half-wit and patronized by middle management, asked to behave in a way which was contrary to my values and expected to follow idiotic sometimes procedures. Oh yes, this is the first job where I can wear my own clothes instead of a moronic patronizing "corporate wear" (prison-like) uniform. I will not miss my previous jobs a bit, though I will miss a few people I met there.I will be based downtown and work in a large office.

Midsummer pauseToday we are all Norwegians

Today we are all Norwegians. Nopt only were several bombs detonated in Oslo but some gunman opened fire at a youth camp on a Norwegian island.

Other than that I've started gym again this week, had a week long break because of man-flu. Feels good to be pumping again. A lot has happened since I last wrote, one of the things being some interesting job interviews. My general well being has lifted considerably and I think it is safe to say I am out of the woods.

Break after a storm

Funny how the events in the Middle East & North Africa have paralleled my own emotional state of events. It was matched on nearly daily basis and only in the begining of March have I been able to feel remotely normal and muster enough energy and faith to make such a simple thing as this blog entry. Not that the mess I'd created in my life has been properly resloved, but at least I seem to have reached a point of temporary emotional stability where I'm not in pain all the time, every day, the result of which was an inability to focus on my work and daily tasks. In Egypt the situation in clear, things have returned to normal, but in Libya, they're still battling it out. I'm sorry to report but at the moment my life is Libya. I'm grateful for the friends that I have, they are the rebel army trying to win over the rest of the country in grips of an evil dictator.

Post exam curiosities...

The exams are over. For now. Last Friday I had an important exam. They piled us into the gymnasium-turned-examination hall, and began distributing the tests. Just minutes before nervous students were frantically revising outside, filling their short term memory with information that will evaporate as soon as they leave the room. Sometimes I'm truly amazed at the bullshit that comes out of my pen during exam time. How do I manage to become this creative to fill out pages and pages with volumes of pseudo-intellectual garbage barely held together by a flimsy skeleton of random half-accurate references? This particular exam was no different, I wrote unceasingly from the beginning till the end. One excercise was numerical in nature, and though my accounts did not balance - I think I did ok overall. I hate those people who when asked how they did say "I did horrible" and then they get an 80. If you know you did well, say so, don't pretend to be a victim.

There was a man in the examination hall. Suited & booted, tall, broad shouldered, caucasian with features that kept my looks off my paper for a while and could easily get him featured in a Marlboro commercial. He was one of the professors at the school, although I never had any classes with him. He manouvered his way around the desks, checking with exceptional dilligence and scrutiny whether any of us dared to bring forbidden aids to the exam. He squinted at pencil cases, picked them up, examined them in his large hands and put them on the floor. The stern and serious look never left his face, and when he made a short announcement the tone of his voice commanded attention and carried authority. After the exam, when we were still seated at our desks waiting for the papers to be collected, my attention was redirected to him automatically. People were beginning to chat to one another comparing answers, as they would, and I just sat there, relieved to have finished and mesmerized by what I was witnessing. The head professor made a request for everyone to stay seated and be quiet. The invigilator started approaching individual students who were chatting and telling them to be quiet. I watched every step he made and observed his facial expression with such intensity, aware that the moment would soon end. The level of frustration in his narrowing eyes grew and grew as students continued to chat in various scattered locations and he was obviously unable to stop this slowly increasing murmur. He however kept on swiftly walking from desk to desk, from group to group, persisting on telling as many people as possible not to converse and each time it was done with more fervor, impatience, frustration and intensity. He was becoming like some crazed charicature of an evil professor from a Pink Floyd song, and oblivious to anyone but me, he was approaching boiling point. Everyone else was distracted, but I was held prisoner, frozen by this momentary inconspicuous spectacle. Two seats in front of me a Chinese girl started chatting in to her classmate. The prof leaped over there from nowhere, like a large cat, stood over her, stooping down so that his eyes, just inches from hers became frighteningly intimidating, his expression furious, and he spit out loud enough for everyone to hear "you, shut up!" It was incredible. I found that whole moment so extremely exhilirating and was captivated by it. It's taken me a day and a half to shake it off. It was such an intense experience, and yet all I did was watch passively. in the end he finally gave up and walked away from the students, over to the examinator tables and began counting the exam papers, burning off steam.

Later I found out about that man. He is an author of one of the best selling and widely used textbooks on investment & finance in the UK & the world, he is a doctor, and predominantly works with PhD students. To watch a person of such esteemed status and position feel so powerless was incredible.

An Intense Day in Arizona

Last night a US congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D) was shot, and 6 other people killed in Tuscon, AZ. I reacted to this unusually strongly. I know a family who lives in Tuscon, a family that I love. They are actually Republican, and pretty conservative, but they are also loving, accepting and intelligent. We've been arguing about the appropriate responses to this tragedy as we tracked the progress of Giffords in the hospital via the news. I have spent some wonderful times with them when I lived in the US. Yes the killer was a mentally disturbed nutter (but wasn't also Hitler?) and he did not mention Sarah Palin in his rants. But he was certainly from the anti-establishment, anarchist fringe of the political spectrum. I don't think it will be as easy to separate this incident from the hate-filled political spirit that's been interwoven in the recent Republican, and especially Tea Party's rhetoric. I don't think Palin's unfortunate metaphorical references to "reload, aim and fire" uttered a last year before the election bear any real responsibility for this shooting. However, I do think the Tea Party's gone too far and it's hijacked the Republican Party way far to the right. And what's up with the gun laws? The case for liberal gun laws states that since law abiding citizens carry guns, it is safer to walk on the streets, knowing some law-abiding Joe will protect you with his Ruger 9mm semi-automatic when you are attacked. Really? Where were the law abiding gun carriers during the shooting of Congresswoman Giffords and 6 other people, including a girl born on 9/11? How come they didn't materialize? Is it because when there is a terrorist attack of this sort people don't think clearly and panic? Is it because people need special training to take down criminals, special training which allows them to think clearly in a highly emotional and disturbing situation?

I am upset at the thought that it could've been someone I know in that crowd. I am also upset at how easy it is to get a gun, go out and shoot at politicians. But I am also upset that the American right wing has the audacity to defend its rhetoric and attempt to turn this around and blame the other side! Hello? A liberal got shot! So what that the killer was a 22 year old nut, he chose to kill a Democrat, not a Republican. Perhaps he found comfort in the Tea Party calls to abolish this government and took it as a personal responsibility? Aditionally, Sarah Palin's little map of targeted Democrates, who DARED to support Obama's healthcare reform bill, featured crosshairs on the locations where these Democratic reps live. Correct me if I'm wrong but the only place you normally see crosshairs are gun scopes, not maps. Gabrielle Giffords was one of the targets on the map. One down, nineteen to go?